so many directions

I got yelled at yesterday by my best friend from college.... about how I don't update my blog and pictures enough... Sorry Rachael!



So todays blog is going to be more of a vent than anything else, so I'll apologize in advance for that.

Do you ever feel like you are pulled in a million different directions? I've been feeling like that a lot recently. I strive to be a great mom, a great wife, a great friend, a great employee, a great daughter, etc. The list goes on. I know that as women we are all trying to be the best and the perfect one. I'm not stupid, I know that I won't be able to achieve perfection, that goal has long since left me. My goal now is just to do the best I can with what I have. And for the most part, its been working out pretty well. I think I have a good marriage, a good relationship with my kids, people at work seem to like me... but even with all of that, I keep thinking I should be doing more. Like I said last month, the status quo just isn't cutting it. Changes need to be made.

I'm not certain on the types of changes yet... but I feel like I need to de-clutter my life. I feel like I just have so much going on and I wish that I was able to devote myself to one or two or even just three of the roles that I'm required to fulfill every day. Part of me would love to be a stay-at-home mother. I really think I'd do well in that role. But the larger part of me knows that my career is important as well, and I'm determined to show everyone that you can have it all as a mother. You can be a great mom, a great wife and a great career woman. I don't have a very demanding job, but I do have my busy days. I'm truly blessed that my job allows me time with my children and that overtime isn't required. But with all this being said, I still feel the need to do better.


This weekend is going to be wierd..... on Friday I'm going to work on being a better friend. One of my friends from college, Jana, is going to be in the area and we are planning on meeting up for a drink or dinner. I haven't seen her since my wedding, over three years ago, so its long overdue. I'll be leaving both girls in the care of my more than capable parents, so everything should work out. On Saturday I'm going to be working on being a better wife. Paul and I have plans to go out to dinner down in NYC. We are going to one of our favorite restaurants, and my parents will be watching the girls from around 3pm till around 10 or 11pm... the longest I've ever left both girls. They will obviously putting the girls to bed and doing baths.... this makes me a bit nervous. I've only been away from Julia at bedtime once in 10 months, but daddy was there. I know my parents will be fine, and I'm going to spend the evening concentrating on my marriage and my relationship with Paul.

I can't remember the last time I went out two nights in a row without the girls. I really don't think I ever have. LOL, I'm such a mom... and to be quite honest I would never want it any other way.